Friday, May 7, 2010

Hiatus: Chapter 4

1. How are you feeling Today?

Adhering to a policy of opportunism; practicing opportunism.

2. What did you do today?

Woke up @ 8A, was out the door around 8.30A to get LabWork done at U of PENN. Headed over to my old Dialysis Unit and spoke with a few of the patients and friends that I made. Went to do a little banking and helped the family after my errands were completed.

3. What are your Thoughts and Emotions today?
The Big O (hip hop remix)

The reason why I feel Opportunistic is because I was approached by my Social Worker at my old Dialysis Unit to come in on June 2 and speak with the current patients about Life after Dialysis and the Beauty of Transplantation. I JUMPED at the Opportunity to Educate!! I will be there with Bells on to Enlighten and Encourage others to Take a Leap Of Faith and Live Life the the Absolute Fullest.

Which is why I am talking about being an Opportunist and being Opportunistic while Capitalizing on Key Opportune Moments in your Life.

There are Key and Distinct Moments within our Lives which are Defining Moments that separate the Men and Women from the Boys and Girls. The moments that determines our Fate and Legacy; How We Want To Be Remembered in the Eyes, Hearts and Minds of the Many that we interact with on a daily basis.

How do You want to be Remembered?

I know that I'll be remembered as the Man that looks and looked Controversy in the Eye and Spat in it. I'll be remembered as the Man who kept it 1000% with those I have interacted and engaged every waking moment. I'll be the Man who Inspired many to be the ABSOLUTE BEST that they can be, and NEVER Fear what they are Feeling. And they'll remember me as the Man who will do one other thing...

The Man Who Will Be Known As "The Opportunistic One."

Opportunities come to us in many forms, and I would like to examine the one that has "Eluded" Me constantly: Matters of the Heart. And I'll begin with a VERY EASY Question (My P.M.S. [Profound Mental Stimulation] readers KNOW that it is my Line of Questioning that Sustains Me and gives Me Insight into the Minds and the Mentality of others).

"Why Do People Screw Themselves Out Of A Great Experience When It Is Presented To Them?"

Let's throw myself under the bus, because Lord Knows I have done that alot in my Life, esp. in the Matters of the Heart.

I'll be Perfectly Honest with myself First, and with you all Second. I'm scared SHITLESS of being hurt and heartbroken. It is not the best feeling in the World at all. I have had it broken twice in my Life, yet I am Still Hungry to find my Balance, My Ms. Compatible.

It takes a TRULY REAL Man to Admit that he has a Fear or a Phobia in regards and reference to having his Heart Broken. It IS NOT about having his Ego Bruised, Broken or Crushed. It is all about His Heart and having it ripped from his chest and slowly stopping in its beat in the Cold and Callous hand of the one with whom he has entrusted. Which is the PRIMARY REASON as to Why I have Shieled My Heart from the "Coldness" that is the next Unsympathetic Individual that has Nothing but Malicious Intent to get their dirty hands on the one thing that which has made me a Superpower. Yet, my Dad sees hidden and Untapped Potential that a Special Young Lady can Enhance and Super Charge with her Compassion and Strength and Belief in Me to where I can restore the Confidence that I had lost not too long ago. But my issue is, not allowing her to be that close to me. But I know within myself that it is of the Utmost Importance that this Transaction between us MUST occur in order for Supreme and Maximum Growth within our Relationship. And in order for that to work and be fruitful in that aspect, is to Capitalize on the Opportunity when it is presented.

Make no mistake about it; that time WILL present itself in a way that will be unexpected and will be EXTREMELY Beneficial to us both. My cards are in my hand and are ready to be played. I am Confident in all of my Being that the young lady with whom I'll be united with will have her hand ready to play as well. And the End Result of it all will be The Unity and Union with which we will Benefit, Capitalize and in Essence, Win Together.

I have seen Friends and Family that have missed out on Something Special in their Lives, and have lived to regret it; Especially myself. Personally, I have a response those Regrets:

Not Anymore.

Thanks to a Very Good Friend of Mine with whom I have spoken with candidly and Openly about this topic, she reminded and reassured witin My Being to Take Risks and Gamble. Sometimes, we MUST put ourselves out there and Feel the Hurt and Pain to become that much more Stronger, Knoweldgeable, Informed as well as Prepared for the CORRECT PERSON in the Future for the Long Run (Maybe I should be Looking at Teacher in this regard, by being Opportuinistic in Pursuing her as my Match. I'M JUST SAYING...).

Yet, I CANNOT shake the feeling of Our Wedding Day. With Myself and My Bride at the Alter, the Officiator asks that ONE SPECIFIC QUESTION:

"If there is anyone with JUST CAUSE as to why these two should NOT be Wed, Let them Speak Now, Or FOREVER Hold Your Peace" (ALTHOUGH this has been omitted from the Ceremony altogether, Weddings CAN BE STOPPED ONLY If Sufficient Evidence that Supports the Claim of Marriage to Another can be presented).

I'll have the Officiator pause at this point as this would be the point in which I give 60 Seconds for the Guests and Witnesses to "Speak Their Peace." If after 60 Seconds have lapsed and NOONE has "Any Peace" to Speak, then I WILL make it ABSOLUTELY AND PERFECTLY CLEAR that the Opportunity has passed and they CANNOT say a Damn Thing from that point forward about Our Union. That/those individual(s) had their Opportunity to say what they felt and they will live to Regret not saying anything at that point in time. I am not attempting to be Malicious with mine. It is simply the fact and Idea that those persons had the one sliver of time and Opportunity to say what they are truly feeling about the Union in which my Bride and I are embarking on. The only thing is, if you felt that strongly about either of us, why didn't you claim us for yourself when YOUR Opportunity presented itself? What has stopped you from Claiming your Happiness?

Fear of Failure, or Fear of Success?

Truth be told, it is ALWAYS The Fear of Success, from my Point of View. People are afraid of having something that has the Greatest of ALL Potential to Succeed, yet they are So scared out of their Mind that they will do Anything AND Everything to Muddy up the waters, just to complain about being Alone and Flying Solo, only to Feed into their Sympathy which is and I'll say it ONE TIME: UNNECESSARY.

I have been there. CONSTANTLY.

I often asked myself, "When will it be My Time?" I recently discovered and with the help of others, I am LIMITING Myself because of not taking up on Opportunities and Taking Risks. Granted, it'll take some time to break, especially with my being a Non Conformist by Nature. STILL, I am HUNGRY and DESIRING Success in EVERY ASPECT of My Life; My Love Life as well as my Professional Life.

My Time WILL Come once I Release My Mental Restraints. THEN AND ONLY THEN, I will Reap The Rewards that are Unimaginable and were once thought to be Unattainable.

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