Thursday, December 29, 2011

My 2011 In Review

Two Thousand and Eleven was a year of Fun, Intrigue, (Drunk)Clarity *INSIDER!!!*, and Insight. Let's Review and Examine; Walk with Me, Talk with Me as we walk down the Memory of Two Thousand and Eleven!

This year has seen much writing from Me and those with whom I have Collaborated (Caprice STAR Brite, Adrienne Young, Rashan Hairston, and Dennis Sloan). I am TRULY Blessed and Appreciative of their Pushing Back harder when I pushed them hard in the writing aspect. I LOVE their Writing Styles, and I believe that I have adapted VERY Well to what they can do, and the reverse. To each one of them, I say Thank You for everything that you have done for Me, and Thank You for giving me the Opportunity to write with You. We WILL be writing more in 2012!

Get Ready: I'm coming for your necks, and I Expect NOTHING LESS from You All!!

Speaking on Writing a little more, The End of my Erotic Thriller "Red Heels Recess" became official April 20, 2011. I have had a Great Time writing the Story, and I enjoyed your reactions as well. The encouragement that I have received from you all kept me going, and pushing myself to be my best in the realm of Story Telling! And Thanks to Caprice for proofing, critiquing, and getting under my skin (in the name of Pushing Me to be Better) before the Chapters were posted, I am Proud of what has come out and how the story was told. As we speak, I am working on a New Story for the middle of the 2012 Year. I will be taking my time on this one, and will be certain that the story goes the way that it needs to go.

Let's get into the Highlights of 2011!

There were Many Highlights in this Reel, including spending time in NYC on two occasions; The Fourth of July Weekend, and Caprice's and Chante's Birthday Party in September. That was THE MOST FUN I have had in a VERY LONG TIME!! Let's Get It On Again Next Year!

Another Highlight for this parting year is spending time with my Family, and getting to know them a lot more than the previous year. Many Laughs and Smiles through the rough times REALLY helped!

A Big Highlight this year was the disappearing act of the Scarring at the bottom of my Heart! Seeing Dr. Ross Zimmer at the University of Pennsylvania Presbyterian Hospital when he decided to run a couple of test (which in all actuality One was Enough AND was Ran), showed something remarkable! The scarring at the bottom of my Heart that I have had for Years has... VANISHED! He couldn't figure it out, as my Dad and Mom said that, "Some Things CANNOT Be Explained! THIS, is a BLESSING!" To This, I say Thank You to Dr. Zimmer for the Test, Thank You to My Family and You All for keeping me in your Thoughts, Prayers, and Well Wishes during that time. And a Big Time Thank You God, Jesus, and Great Grandmother Nancy for watching over Me during that event.

Another Highlight is the acquisition of my New Glasses! After 3 years, I can Finally Read the Fine Print and See the Line in the Sand.

Sight Beyond Sight? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT!!!

A HUGE Highlight for 2011 was the Expansion of my Associate and Friend Circles; Meeting New People throughout this year, I am Appreciative of Who they are and What they are. All I can say is, Variety IS the Spice of Life.

The BIGGEST Highlight of the Year, HANDS DOWN, was Baeednah Anderson introducing me to Jade Williams of Woosah Wednesday/4Tru Experience ( In Meeting Jade, I have received the privilege of performing my Poetry for the First Time in a Long Time in Philadelphia. The Second Part of this Highlight is even more Sentimental. Not only have I returned to the stage, my Parents were there for my return! My Mom hugged me, and my Dad shook my hand as they both praised me for my Artwork. The following week, Calvin and his GF Chiante came and saw me perform. Calvin shook my hand, Chiante gave me a hug and they both praised me for what I can do! 

Here is The Favorite chosen by The People:

I an STILL Wondering how many people got Snaked that night!

To those that have watched the Videos of my Performances and commented, I Thank You. It tells me that I am doing my Job. I Look forward to doing More Videos for us all for 2012!

As with Highlights, there are Lowlights in 2011...

Severing ties with people with whom I Thought I knew is Always a devastating blow. It is one thing to call me out of my name; I am Cool with that. I have been called a lot of things; I DON'T CARE.


Calling a Family Member Of Mine out of their name (When they were helping you procure things to make your Life easier)? THAT, is a Completely Different Animal! As far as I am concerned and how my mindset is, that is a Punishable Offense; Omission from My Life. Apparently, that person did the Heavy Lifting for Me and did it them self. Rest Assured Ladies and Gentlemen, No Mulligans after that one; No Words, NOTHING.

Another Lowlight of 2011 is the loss of Family and Friends. We have grown accustomed to having them in our Lives; bringing us Comfort, Laughter, Love, Aggravation, and everything in between and beyond. They were fixtures in our Lives, as they guided us in some way, shape, or form. As I have said:

"People are in Your Life for a Reason. Some, for a Season. Each and Every One of those people has made an Impact in Your Life for a Lifetime."

To the ones we lost this year, I tip my Coke and Rum to them, then hold it high.

Cheers to you all. I Love You, and I Miss You.

What have I learned about this past year?

I learned a few extra things about myself this year. I am still learning to Trust myself in the decisions that I made and am making. I am learning to rebuild my Confidence in many aspects. I am also learning that Clairvoyance is a Fun Commodity that is embraceable under the right circumstances. Most of all, I learned how to Have Fun.

Being the uptight S.O.B. that I am known to be, I loosened my own reigns a bit and realized that letting people in is not such a bad thing; it is the sneaky bastiches that I have to be aware of that'll ruin the Fun for Me. Thankfully, I am seeing people for who they are; on Both Sides of the Field. As always, I am taking my Good and Close Friends with me into 2012, due to them being the Most Real People and the Most Healthy to and for Me. To them, I say Thank You from the bottom of my Murmured Heart. I plan on taking it easy on myself in the upcoming year, and continue to grow even more as a Man, and as a Human Being. I would be ecstatic to have many of you along for the ride as we bring in 2012.

Hmmm... 2012.

As a few of you already know, I have a Vested Interest in this coming year. I plan on Publishing Both a Poetry Book as well as my Erotic Thriller in 2012. And with my doing that, I shall see what many others think and feel about my writing and compound it with your encouragement, enthusiasm, and critiques. This'll be a Enormous Learning Experience for me and will shape my Next Move. Nevertheless, I WILL Continue to write!

Another reason why I have an Interest in 2012 is due to the following Pictures:

According to the Mayans, their Calendar predicts that The Apocalypse will Occur on December 21, 2012. I am looking for Grandpa Harold Camping to say something after his two FAILED Attempts to say that the Rapture was to Occur on 2 separate occasions (May 21, 2011 and October 21, 2011).

*Rolling My Eyes* #DelusionalOldMan...

MAYBE the Mayans are Correct; they have had a pretty good Track Record of Predicting Natural Disasters (According to those that have kept up with the Stone Tablet). Who Knows? It MIGHT BE Right; 2012 MAY BE the End Of Days!

IF that is the case, Live Your Lives as if today is the Last Day!

MAYBE, the Mayans are Incorrect; it is a bunch of hooey and malarkey that is dismissable and omitable from our memory banks! Should that stop you from Living Your Lives? It shouldn't; NOT in the least bit.

What do I Believe Personally? I Believe that SOME THINGS Will Occur; Things that will be Bigger than The Presidential Election (Barack Obama WILL Win, unless some COMPLETE and UTTER BULLSHIT happens; Quote Me On This! I Will Stand By My Words!!) Natural Disasters? Sure, just likes the years that have passed. Fighting and Wars? Of Course, just like years that have passed.

I'm not talking about those things, Ladies and Gentlemen. I am talking about SOME THING that'll take us all by Surprise. I'm not going to make a Harold Camping Prediction of ANY Kind; NOT MY STYLE. All I am saying is I feel Something occurring in 2012. MAY BE something Religious. MAY BE something Astronomical and Astrological. MAY BE something Man Made.

I have a Theory, yet I'll keep it to myself...

Whatever the case may be, I am Happy, Humbled, and Very Honored to have been with you all, no matter the length of time that was spent between us. 2011 was a Fun Year, and I look forward to having fun with you all in 2012; The Year of the Dragon.

I Thank You All, I Love You All, I Appreciate You All for the Memories that you have given me in 2011. See you in One Day, with a Drink in Hand!


~© 2011 Andrew Boyd~

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Who's Hungry, OR, Who Isn't Willing To Let It Go?

*It's Lunch Time at your Office! You look into your bag, only to realize that you do not care for your lunch. Someone approaches you, sees your lunch, and offers a trade. Looking at them, you politely decline. Although you do not want this lunch, you do not wish to let someone else have what is yours...*

You know what, Ladies and Gentlemen? This is an interesting scenario. You don't want the Lunch, yet you do not want anyone else to have it either. Can someone please explain to me EXACTLY what is going through your head when you travel this road and reach this destination?

Of course, what I wrote was a Metaphor; an interesting one to say the least. I am actually going to apply this line of thinking to Romantic Life.

Think about it:

Let's say that the Lunch is someone with whom you have NO Romantic Interest. You don't want that individual, YET at the same time, you do not want ANYONE ELSE to have that person. How is that possible? You are Single, and you feel that you want the Great Looking Guy/Gal that is not available. However, there is the Average Joe/Jane that is Single as well (all around Good Natured Soul) that sees you as the Sun and the Moon for quite some time now. You two converse often, share some laughs, and get along rather well. They approach you about a potential relationship with them, and you SHOOT THEM DOWN HARD, COLD, AND FAST ("You are a Good Guy/Gal, BUT..." is the Kiss of Death that you deal).

So, this person moves on without you. After "a while" (Read: The AWKWARDNESS of the Event's outcome), they start speaking with another person of interest. These two are getting along REALLY WELL, and it looks like it could turn into something Serious. You see this going on, and you run interference, in the name of preventing something of "Great Value" blossoming between those two parties.

So my question to you is this:

WHY are you running an Interference Audible with someone who ONCE looked at you in that Light, you said No for WHATEVER REASON you had at that point in time, only for you to execute the "I am SUDDENLY INTERESTED in you NOW!!!" play when they show interest in another person?

Oh!! I KNOW!!!

You're Selfish, and cannot stand to see someone else be happy! MAYBE, it is the fact that they are NO LONGER interested in you, for they do not see you in that light anymore, and you are trying to be relevant once more! Or is it that notion that you are THAT SMALL, that you desire everyone to wallow in your Self Pity.

I Could Be Wrong, AS USUAL...

Then again, my Personal Experiences and History as well as others' Personal Experiences and History has Proven Otherwise. I know several GREAT PEOPLE who have been dismissed by those that feel that their Shit DOES NOT Stink. I have seen those dismissed people land onto the Island of Misfit Toys feeling hurt, ashamed, and embarrassed. Yet, those dismissed people got back on the horse, and were discovered by someone that Genuinely desires them and wishes to be and build something with them as you look on in a Green-Eyed manner. And what is your response?

CERTAINLY NOT "I am happy that you and that person found each other, and I wish nothing but he Best for you all!" It is you approaching the Budding Bond, running an interference, and to add insult to injury, SPIT on the Lunch you did not want ANY DAMN WAY.

Smooth, and VERY Mature. *Side Eyeing*

My Bottom Line is this: Eat Your Lunch. If you do not want it, let it go. If someone is looking at that lunch and wants it, LET THEM HAVE IT. Move On, and go for something that compliments your stomach better. Spitting on it is only going to show your True Character, and have others look at you in the Light with which you have provided.

And if you do, Pack for a long stay on The Island of Misfit Toys.

~© 2011 Andrew Boyd~

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A Not Too Retro Blog: My Secret (Written January 18, 2010)

My Name is Andrew, and I have a Secret to tell you all.

Over the years, I told you all a lot about myself. How my Health was going. How my family and friends means a lot to me. How my family and friends as well as all of you give me Strength to forge forward and become even stronger than the last day that has passed.

However, there is one story I kept locked away from everyone. A story I swore would never see the Light of Day. After talking to a close and dear friend Friday Night about it, she requested that I speak on it. I slept on the thought, and weighed my options…

It is best to talk about My Secret.

July 3, 2005 was a pleasant Summer Sunday. My family is getting ready for our barbecue, and is expecting a few close friends over to enjoy each other’s company. For some odd reason, I just wasn’t myself. I knew why, but did not want to admit it to myself and to those closest to me. It was my issue, and mine alone to deal with. After cleaning up the house, I picked a fight with my mother (Because of my issue). It was a heavy confrontation that caused me to go to my room and I wanted to be left alone. Within 10 minutes, my best friend and his girlfriend came over and were looking to see me around. My mother came to my room, and informed me of their arrival. I said that I didn’t care (A First for me in regards to my at that time 15 year best friend) and wanted to be left alone. We both got into it again, and then she flat out asked, “What is wrong with you?!”

My response, to the best of my Memory, is as follows:

“I am tired of doing this!! (Pointing to my Home Dialysis Machine) I am tired of doing Dialysis, I am tired of waiting for a Kidney Transplant, and I am tired of being a burden to everyone under this roof!!! I am TIRED of trying to stay Positive for something that may NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!! I just want to be by myself and just die!! And I don’t care if anyone is hurt or hurting from my words today!!”

That specific combination of words NEVER came out of me before, or was even thought of. I literally brought my home to its knees with how I felt about how my Life was going at that time.

My mom had this look of shock and as if she was gutted while standing right there hearing me voice my disgust and anger for my situation. She was speechless and could not figure out what to do or say. She left me alone for a few minutes. She cried to my brother, my dad and my best friend about the words that were spoken by me. All 3 came up to my room, and wanted to know why I was feeling this way. At the time, I couldn’t find the words. I eventually figured out that ever since I was diagnosed with my illness, I never FULLY Processed how I felt about everything that happened to me.

My brother sat next to me, and cried as he hugged me. As he grabbed and held onto the yellow band on my right wrist, he asked me, “See this band on your wrist? It say’s ‘Live Strong’ and you have done this for so many years, Andrew!! You have walked through the Gates of Hell and came out stronger because of it! I refuse to see you give up on You!!”

After he said his piece, he left. My best friend said nearly the same thing, and added, “The one important thing you should do is let your mom know you Love her and Appreciate her.”

Seeing how Ric NEVER steered me wrong, I trusted his words, stood in front of my mom, apologized for my anger, and let her know that I did, in fact, Appreciate her. We hugged for minutes, and they all left for me to gather my thoughts. I lay in my bed and BAWLED for 45 minutes. Everything I felt about my Health and my Situation came to a head and erupted in ways I never thought possible. After the heaviness passed me, I realized that was the one TRUE time I processed 19 years of hurt, pain, devastation and what my Life would be from that point forward. I went into the bathroom, washed my face, regained my composure and headed downstairs. My Heart was heavy, but not as heavy as it was earlier. My best friend introduced me to his girlfriend. She said to me, “I only know what Ricarto told me about you. He says that you have a strength inside of you that cannot be matched. When he told me what happened with you an hour ago, I didn’t know what to say. I truly hope that you are alright.” I thanked her for her kind words, and was very happy to hear that Ric spoke highly of me. I talked to my dad and he said something to me that humbled me to the core.

“The one thing that I admire about you is your ability to stand tall in the face of Adversity. Adversity doesn’t build Character; it shows your True Character. And you showed your True Character when you went through your illness, and you are still here to share your story with everyone that you hold close to you, and those who may be going through the same thing as you or worse.”

I wrote this experience out as a Request from my Dear Friend. She believes that I can save a Life by making this Secret public. As I was writing this, I realized even more what she was saying:

We are in fact Human. Even at times where we present ourselves as more than that, we do have something in common; Moments Of Weakness. Everyone in some way, shape and/or form has Pride. That Pride within us halts our progression of being who we are meant to be: Fully Functioning members of Society. I can only Hope that My Secret can help someone who is at or near the end of their rope, and can hopefully give them some reassurance that there are people in your corner and are ready to help you get back on track and back to being You.

I know many of you, seeing all that I have been through, consider me a Hero. And not seeing me break under the pressure was something you may have Admired a Great deal.

My name is Andrew, and I have a Secret to tell you all. Truth be told, Even Heroes Cry.

~© 2010 Andrew Boyd~

*The Original Writing can be found in this Link, with all of the Comments from those that have read it. I look at it every now and again, to Temper my Resolve:

Monday, September 12, 2011

Two Faced (A Caprice StarBRITE and Phoenix, The ReBorn Duet)

A Demon lurks within Me; seeking a way out.
Feeling my True Form making its attempt to Surface,
My Eyes are like my Soul: Lifeless and Cold.
My Warm Exterior is adding more disgust to my Icy Interior,
To a point where I am prepared to do plenty of harm
To myself and those around me.
I have been Battle Tested and Scarred,
As My Gaze tells the Draining Story of Corruption and Deception.
My weathered consciousness is weighing me down daily,
For I know not what will be my Fate...

My fate lies in the hands of an unknown entity that I wish not to know
Yet I see the satisfaction at the reflection before me
Eyes stained red with the power I’m afraid to conquer
Yet at peace with who I really am
Could this be who I really am?
Feeling the blood course through my veins
My screams echo for only my ears to hear
Fighting within myself to stay true
But finding refuge within the darkness of myself
Anguish fills my soul as I continue to battle for that last drop of sanity

My outward Sanity binds and contains my inner Insanity,
As I try my hardest to not unleash the Havoc and Hell within.
A World unworthy of my Smile and Beaming Happiness;
I keep a strong grip on My Reality before it leaves its mark.
I am a far cry from a Fractured Fairy Tale,
And no where near a Shattered Dream.
Who I am, is the Raw and Real:
Damaged beyond Repair, yet seeking a Human Mechanic
To help me re-work my Internal and Mental Plumbing
So that I may have some Grounds of Configuration.
In having this, I can only Hope that I can be realigned.
Otherwise, there is No Possible Way of obtaining Liberation.

My realignment is conformed to fit my own precedence
Forming and constructing all the parts that bind me
Swimming relentlessly in unknown waters of my own melancholy
I drown in chameleon-like appearance as my sanity questions my existence
Trying to control the inner alter that has me cloaked
I remember that…all that is me…IS
But I fearfully lock away the creature that is ME
To save the world from its demonic torture that no one should endure
Standing faulty…almost broken…I firmly believe…that
I will not rest in slumber until the alter of ME is at peace

~© 2011 Andrew Boyd~
~© 2011 D. Caprice Todmann~

Sunday, July 31, 2011

LOST LOVE (A Caprice StarBRITE and Phoenix, The ReBorn Duet)

As I await for you in my despair
My tattered wings have suddenly began to shed... feather by feather
Cloaked in icy terrains, I slip feverishly amongst the cracks
Searching for you...
I breathe in the stench of my loneliness
Awaiting for your love to fill the void of my longing

The Burning Sensation in the Air
Coupled with the Stench of Solitude
And Dismal Gray Settings,
My Heart is pained by your not being here.
The Pressures of this place with which I reside
Created a Depth of Darkness that not even I can escape.
My arms and hands outstretched,
Awaiting for your Strong Grip to rescue me
From the torment of my downfall.
It is Cold on the Outside as well as Inside,
For I need the Warmth of your Heart to deliver Salvation.

Gnawing away at my open wounds
I feel the presence of your stench beckoning me...
Calling me
Stumbling, I follow the echoing of your voice; scraping my bare feet along the terrain
We once shared in harmony
I drop to my knees as the pain smeared tears are frozen to my cheeks
No longer able to continue my journey any further
But my heart tells me otherwise
As my body unwillingly glides painfully across the murky bleakness of my strength
Shadows form their own symphony as I fall in and out of consciousness

Listen closely to My Heart Beat as it attempts to feed you Audibly
In the name of sustaining your Malnourished Soul.
There is no need to feast on your bloody flesh,
When you are worth so much more to me.
My Heart is beckoning for You to seek Me, as I do the same.
When I find you in the Darkest of Shadows,
I will lift you up, so you do not drag yourself and waste away.
I will mend your fallen feathers, and bring them back to White.
I will tend to your Wounds, and make you whole again.
The Darkness may be thick, yet it is not Unchartable.
For we shall find a way out of there, and Forever Live Vibrantly.

My eyes begin to water as I know deep down that you are not before me
Speaking words of bliss knowing they are just echoes in the wind
Holding on to the memories of what was.
I want to be lifted from the anguish that controls me limb from limb
I want my malnourished soul to feel nourished again
I want my feathers to be as they were; filled with strength and vigor
But alas, this is merely hope pounding through my loins;
Choking every last bit of breathe I have left; soaked and drowning in the metropolis of my own despair

Fighting through this Hell, I have finally found you:
Scars adorn your Spirit when I look into your eyes.
Tears escape me; Relief and Pain within each drop.
Seeing your Physical Fragile State, I know your Soul is even Worse.
I hold you close to me, as what is left of your broken wings wrap around us.
Feeling your Darkened Feathers glide down my back and legs,
Your eyes begin to shimmer with Happiness as you bury your face in my chest.
I feel and hear your crying while you tremble and collapse in my arms.
I pick you up, while your arms wrap around me instantly.
As I carry you out of this harsh environment,
You fall asleep with Serenity and Peace on your lips.
I can see that you are exhausted from your fight to stay alive and sane.
Looking at the area with which I find your weak state,
I am disgusted with myself that you were punished here.
Making a Vow to You and Myself,
This place will be Banished from your Thoughts
And will Never be Seen or Spoken of Again.

~© 2011 Andrew Boyd~
~© 2011 D. Caprice Todmann~

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Retro Blog: Survival Of The Fittest: Who Is TRULY Fit To Survive?

***Written December 2009***

Events from Thursday and a Conversation late Thursday Night gave me the writing bug.

DISCLAIMER: These are just my views and opinions. Whether you agree or disagree is your right, and I will Respect how you feel. More Importantly, I will Admire your Views and Opinions on this Subject.

Just as the title states, you already know I got the gears turning in my head. I am going to attempt to approach this topic in a Philosophical Manner.

On December 18 of 2009, the Home Going of our old classmate and friend Damon Baylor had me thinking when a young lady took the Microphone during the Remarks Segment and said something that got the gears going in my head:

“Damon didn’t Lose his Battle with his illness. He Won the War, and his reward is no more suffering and no more pain.”

LATER that night, I talked to my Close and Dear Friend, and she talked to me about a Trial a friend of hers was going through (She’s in my Prayers). And I talked to her about the Funeral and that quote being spoken, and it inspired the Titular Question (*WINKING @ Bennett; INSIDER!!).

Now, I broke it down by 2 “Warring” Groups: The Healthy and The Sick.

Let’s examine the Healthy for a quick minute.

From my view (and my views OFTEN tend to catch Major Heat), the Healthy are the Physically Stronger of the two. They can run faster, pick up heavier things, and do way more than their sicker counterparts. They are “The Superiors” of the Human Species. These are the ones we Long and Desire to be.

We will return to this angle, when we compare them with the next item we are examining: The Sick.

Once again from my view, The Sick are considered “The Inferiors” of the Human Species by many. We, (Myself Included) are Physically weaker. We cannot run as fast (IF, we Can run), pick up heavier things (If, we can pick up things in general At All), and we tend to do less because of Limitations. This is the Situation we all try to avoid at all costs.

I can also apply this thinking to “Transformers.” Autobots fight for and protect the Weak. The Decepticons are more for “Survival of the Fittest: Only the Strong Survive.”

Now, let’s get to the Good Part.

Which Group deserves to Live the Longest? By Comparison, The Healthy (By a Supposed Popular Vote) deserves to live the longest. No Flaws, no Illness, no Disease. Why should the Sick live? They are the ones with Disease, Illness and Physical Discrepancies!!

I’ll tell you why, and it will be Marred with Controversy, and I can even Argue that they are the most deserving to Live the Longest.

By My Logic (And Remember, it is BY MY LOGIC), The Sick have MORE to live for. We have a reason to Fight and to be part of the Healthy Group, albeit that we may or may not be accepted by them as a whole (Dependent on the Individual). The Sick have something that the Healthy people can or cannot begin to Understand. The Sick have an unknown and often unseen Inner Strength that the Healthy can or cannot begin to fathom or understand unless they are Sick themselves!

Perfect example and I will throw myself under the bus first.

Before I turned 8-years-old, I was a “Healthy and Normal” child. When I turned 8 and discovered the road in which I was going down Medically, I became a “Sick” child. I was still trying to understand what was going on, but I knew when I turned 15, I was undergoing Dialysis, I realized then what my Inner Strength was. I discovered my Drive, My Reason for Living. By this Personal Discovery, it made me start fighting. It gave me an Untapped Energy and Potential to attempt the Almost Impossible: To return to being part of The Healthy Group. I longed to become once again “Superior.” But I am very much aware that I MAY NOT get back to the way I used to be, and I Accepted this Fact. But the key element here is that the Fight, My Inner Strength, has not wavered and has not died within me. It is still there and will become and evolve into My Legacy, never leaving or dissipating. My Legacy will ultimately become a part of those with whom I came into contact with over the years during my Tenure on the Planet.

My Best Friend’s dad was Healthy at a time, for a long time. Then his dad had Heart Bypass Surgery. Now, his dad fights hard to Live for not only himself, but for his family and friends as well as those he touched during his time here. I am happy to say that he is doing Incredibly Well!

Our old friend that was put to rest had a War going on inside of his body. He fought for the same reasons I did as well as many other Sick People (I can HONESTLY Say our reasons Are the same). His Inner Strength and Fight did not waver, or die with him, because it resides in his Legacy: His Family, His Friends, and every Single Life he touched during his 32-year tenure here on the Planet. He fought, and fought DAMN HARD. His Spirit did not slow down, or quit while he Warred with his illness. In my eyes, he like many other Sick People (along with myself), was and is in fact stronger because he fought for what he believed in and fought for what he felt was right for him and his Life. When I heard the words spoken in the Quotes at the beginning of this blog, this is what got me thinking as to who deserves to Survive and live the longest.

In this particular argument, The Sick Deserves to live the longest, because we as Sick People have a little bit more “OOMPH!” to punch the clock and work hard (Even put in Overtime) to be there for those we have affected during our time here, and we work even harder to make Absolutely Certain that we leave a Permanent Impression within those we touched throughout the years.

What about the Healthy People? Well, a good number of them have a Reason to Live, not to discredit or discount that fact, but there are also a good number of them that are just living, in their words, “With No Purpose.” We all have a purpose and a reason to Live, some are more aware than others. As far as the Healthy, they do have the Drive to Live for a Reason. Yet the Sick fight a little more (or a whole lot) harder to prove themselves to be as strong as the Healthy. The Healthy just need to do a little something called “Self Realization of Their Purpose on the Planet.”

But when we all think about it, everyone is fit to Survive; From the Healthy to the Sick. We are all entitled to live our Lives to the Fullest. That is our Grand Design. I am not saying this is “The Meaning of Life,” but it could be an amazing start to the Enlightenment in that which we are seeking in understanding what is going on with us all.

~© 2010 Andrew Boyd~

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Standards and Practices? I'm Sure It Is Nowadays...

While cruising Facebook the morning of July 25, 2011, My Brother from another Mother Ricarto Brazela posed this question on his page:

"Examples R. Kelly, Alicia Keys, Lauryn Hill... Does the way they live their lives outside of the recording booth/stage impact if/how you view their music? What if their lifestyles contradict the music they put out? Should that matter?"

*Putting on the Pondering Face...*

Looking at the list of Artists that Ric laid out, two of these kids did similar wrong things. And one of these kids did a whole different level of wrong. Let's examine, Shall we?

Alicia Keys, Lauryn Hill, and R. Kelly are MAGNIFICENT Artists, and I am confident that no person will dispute that fact. 20 Grammys between the three of them, and many other awards as well. Their music has touched many people and received a lot of airtime, and download props. Here are three great examples of their Skill:

Add on Alicia Keys being a Philanthropist, Lauryn Hill being a Huge Influence to many Artists, and R. Kelly working with Many Artists and helping them Sky Rocket up the Popularity Food Chain, it is EXTREMELY HARD to Not Love their Musical Contributions (I may not have their CDs, Vinyls, or Download their Music, yet I do listen to what they do and Smile with a steady Head Nod).

Although their styles are different, Alicia Keys and Lauryn Hill both have done something that is so commonplace in this Era that I'm not even the least bit surprised:

Broke Up Marriages for THEIR Selfish Purposes.

Before ANYONE gets Episodic and Disown Me, DO NOT forget who is speaking on this; Andrew "Mr. Controversy" Boyd, AKA Phoenix, The Reborn© (Phoenix, The Reborn is a Registered Copyright of Andrew R. Boyd). You know I'm going to rub A LOT of people the wrong way with what I am going to say, and I welcome Anyone AND Everyone to "Drop Their Knowledge" on this topic. Your Rebuttals ARE Expected. Yet, I humbly ask that you all be open minded with what is coming out of my Mind and being written here.

I'm going to start by saying a quote that My Dad has been saying for Years, and is SO VERY Appropiate in this write:

"In this Day and Age, Women Believe that A Piece of Man is Better than No Man."

Let me start with Lauryn Hill...

For those that did not know, Lauryn Hill and Wyclef Jean dated through the majority of The Fugees early tenure, a relationship that friends have called "complicated". Then in 1996, she met Rohan Marley, a son of the Late and Great Bob Marley, who himself was already married. Even though he was married, they started a family; 3 Boys and 2 Girls (BEAUTIFUL Children!! Baby number six, a Boy, has been reported today that he is Not Rohan's Son). I'm sure once Rohan's Wife NOW Ex-Wife caught wind of the Extra-marital Affair (whether by his words or Lauryn's), she was not Farting Rainbows and Shitting Sunshine. And we have received confirmation that Rohan left Lauryn for 28-year-old Brazilian Model Isabeli Fontana. Here are a few pics of her:

She's Very Attractive, as is Lauryn. It seems apparent that Lauryn's indiscretions have come back to haunt her and Isabeli is merely stealing a page out of Lauryn's Play Book.

Or is that REALLY the case...?

When you think about it, I can honestly place blame on Rohan as equally as I would Lauryn, for the simple fact that he is A WEAK MAN (Damn Right I said it, and you can Quote Me on it, too!!). He allowed TWO Women to interfere in his Life the way that they did. A REAL Man, is a One Woman Man; Remember, Rohan was Married when he met Lauryn, and Rohan was in a Relationship with Lauryn when he met Isabeli.

Doesn't say much for Anyone's character here, does it?

Let's examine Alicia Keys...

To Summarize what is going on here:

Alicia Keys was friends with Swizz's Wife. She was Humping the Man like a Horny Dog all the while smiling in her "Girlfriend's" (Swizz's Wife) face (ALLEGEDLY). Swizz and Wife get a divorce. Swizz and Alicia date, Alicia got preggers, get engage, and are married with an ADORABLE Little Blessing named Egypt (REMINDER: Egypt didn't walk up to his parents and Ask to be Conceived or Born; EVERYONE walking this Earth didn't ask for that. So therefore, Egypt, as are we, ARE A BLESSING). Here's a pic of the Little Marvel:

Now, we have to see who Swizzy left so he could be with Ms. Keys...

Swizz's Ex-Wife is Very Attractive, just like Alicia. And she has a Brand New Little one, like Alicia.

Once again, is this a case of a Woman going after someone that was once unobtainable by being Deceitful, Dishonest, and all around Disgustingly Dirty in her Trickery and Methods, or another Weak Man failing to Prioritize in the Realm of the Heart?

To be Very Honest, we don't know what the EXACT Circumstances were when it came to these two situations and more than likely we NEVER WILL. Just know that What is Done in the Dark WILL Come to Light. There may be a day where the Truth will come out, but do not hold your Breath.

Looking at these two situations, they remind me of the "Family Guy" Episode "The Cleveland–Loretta Quagmire," Where Cleveland Brown's Wife Loretta had an Affair with Cleveland's Best Friend, Glen Quagmire. The End Result is Loretta and Cleveland Divorcing after Loretta left him, and he and Quagmire closed the show reminiscent to "Rocky III".

Only difference, Boys and Girls? No Children are in the Mix and this is a Cartoon. Actual Lives as well as Families are Fucked Up and Destroyed because of Selfishness ALL ACROSS THE BOARD. There is no way that ANYONE can Justify this Madness between those two. If anyone can, it'll lead me to believe that You Yourself are a Man-Jacker or a Woman-Jacker (NOT Judging; I am ASSESSING. Please don't confuse the Two).

Bottom Line: The True Victims are the Children Involved in this Bullshit, and I pray for their Young and "As Innocent as Possible" Souls.

Robert Kelly AKA R. Kelly AKA "The Pied Piper of R&B" :

Riddle Me This, Mr. Kelly:

With all that you have accomplished in the World of Music, as well as garnering the Love and Admiration of So Many People (Myself Included), WHY OH WHY did you pee on that Girl AND Video Tape it?

I feel a couple of References coming on...

Chappelles Show
R. Kelly's "Piss on You" Music Videos
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDsBlack ComedyTrue Hollywood Story

"R. Kelly is mad at me! That ain't a Joke; That Nigg@'s MAD! He came up to me asking, 'How are you going to do a Video about me peeing on somebody?!' Nigg@, how are YOU going to make a video about peeing on Somebody?!" -Dave Chappelle

February of 2002, R. Kelly was accused of making a video, allegedly showing him engaging in sex with an underage girl. It was released by an unknown source, and was sent to the Chicago Sun-Times; the newspaper that broke the story. Now, from what was rumored, he was looking DEAD INTO the camera and proceeded to turn an underage girl into a urinal. And who better to do that to than Sparkle's Niece? Sparkle: YOUR PROTEGE!!!

Let me get this Right: Sparkle's Niece, YOUR Protege's Niece, is peed on by You AND You Video Taped the whole thing? And to top it all off, it was either someone you screwed over in the past and kept around you, or a Jilted Ex (Let's clump them together and say "Someone with A NASTY Grudge against You") that took That Tape to the Press, and you got your Tardy Ass Arrested.

To be BRUTALLY HONEST, Robert Kelly IS a Pedophile. Look at his Track Record:

-1994: Kelly meets his future wife Andrea Lee when she auditions to be a dancer for the 12 Play tour (she was 20 at the time). However, he first marries 15-year-old Aaliyah (using a falsified marriage certificate that lists her age as 18) in August.

-Dec., 1996: Suit Filed Against Kelly; Tiffany Hawkins, 20, files suit against Kelly, saying he picked her up at his old high school in 1991, had sex with her when she was only 15. Then in Jan. of 1998, R. Kelly pays Hawkins $250,000 to drop her lawsuit (I'm not Legal Savvy, BUT I do Believe that Payoff is an Admission of Guilt).

-April of 2000: R. Kelly begins a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old record-label intern named Tracy Sampson, according to her 2001 lawsuit. In December, the Chicago Sun-Times publishes an article about the investigation and Kelly's "pattern of pursuing underage girls for sex." The Illinois Department of Children and Family Services launches a probe.

-January 2003: R. Kelly is arrested on 16 additional charges of child pornography in Miami when authorities say they found photos of a nude underage girl while searching his residence during the previous arrest. The Florida charges are later dismissed due to an anomaly in the search warrant. Despite Kelly's failure to phone his probation officer while shooting a video in January in Florida, Judge Vincent Gaughan overlooks protests from prosecutors and grants the singer permission to leave the state for two brief tours, one in August and one in October.

-January 2008: Ne-Yo sues for breach of contract for being fired from the Double Up tour, while the judge orders Kelly to cancel a show so as not to miss a court appearance the following day. In February, Regina and George Daniels clarify that Kelly had a sexual relationship with their college-age daughter, whom the singer has known since she was 7 (College-Age could mean either 17 or 18; dependent on Age of Consent in the State at the time, R. Kelly COULD have been in the Clear).

You are NEVER an Official Celebrity until you have a Mugshot! *Rolling Eyes*

I don't care how Hard you defend this dude, fact of the matter is Robert Kelly has a LAUNDRY LIST of Pedophilic tendencies. I'm on my knees BEGGING for someone to Justify Mr. Kelly's Heat Seeker being set to "Teenage Girls". What, R. Kelly: Is it the fact that Women your age are a Challenge and you are Fucking Lazy, or is it the Fact that you have a Sick, Warped, and Twisted way of Manipulating Young and Naive Minors for your own Sexual Satisfaction and Gratification? TELL US, SIR!!

Maybe I answered my own question, I don't know....

To be Fair and Objectionable in this debate, those Little Girls could have looked at R. Kelly and said "No!" Instead of doing that, those "Little Women" chose to be "Grown Up" in their actions, they got what they paid for (LITERALLY); A Media Circus and Labeled as Victims (Other Words come to Mind, but that would be Low, even for Me). And to add onto it, I'm throwing in a "Boondocks" Reference:

Riley is DEAD ON; the girl could have Simply MOVED OUT OF THE WAY!!!

The One Thing that we MUST Keep in Mind is that there are two sets of individuals:


And there is Alicia Keys (Alicia Augello Cook, born January 25, 1981), Lauryn Hill (Lauryn Noelle Hill, born May 26, 1975), and R. Kelly (Robert Sylvester Kelly, born January 8, 1967): THE PERSON BEHIND THE MUSIC.

Ladies and Gentlemen, PLEASE Learn to Separate the Two Individuals; the Performer and the Person. That is Common Logic 101, and Common Sense 101.

Bottom Line: No Matter Who You Are and What Your Status is in Life, you are a HUMAN BEING First! And from my Point of View, from what I have Observed from Afar, as well as What was Presented to the Public via our Great Media Coverage *Rolling Eyes AGAIN*, They are No Different and No Better than Anyone Else that pulls the EXACT SAME SHIT! They have Pull, so the Rules DO NOT Apply.

*Sarcastic Applause* Just Fucking Awesome.

Let it be one of us Common Folk, with NO PULL at all; we would be Labeled AND Condemned for what we have done in regards to what they did. No Ifs, Ands, Or Buts About It.

My Question for You, Those that lump ANY one of them as The Performer, Artist, AND Person: If you are such a Huge Supporter of their Music, does that Mean You Condone what they have done outside of the Studio and Off of the Stage as well?

~© 2011 Andrew Boyd~

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Illuminating The Darkness Within (A Caprice STARBRITE and Phoenix, The Reborn Duet)

Dark Rain creating a Bleakness deep within,
I Stand and Walk Alone Life's Black and Narrow Hall.
A Dismal Frame of Mind that is Comfortable as it suits me perfectly
For it reflects what is in My Heart.
I am a Machine; Unfeeling and Emotionless.
It's Non-Conformity at its best, making me Soulless.
I Love the Cold, for it keeps me warm.
Yet there is something inside of me, fighting to come to the surface...

Fighting with the strength of ten thousand minions
Scratching and clawing at my soul
Wondering if there will ever be any light that so many have spoken of
Draining me from life’s riches
Running from and to myself for refuge
I want to feel the light on my skin, basking in the greatness of its power...

I Keep Hope around my finger,
To Light my Dark Hours.
This is Illumination in its simplest form;
A Grand Force to be acknowledged by all.
You lit one candle in the Dark Room in My Head,
Showing me the Right Way Out of my Mindset.
The Black Clouds are lifting slowly
As the Light breaks its austere mannerisms,
Shining Brightly and Ushering in Blinding Utopia.

My Utopia is unmatched by the blinding of the darkness
For it is unforeseen by most that light can brighten the darkest of days
Emerging fully reborn from my cocoon
Stretching, reaching towards the powerful force
I don’t look back on what was, but what I am to become in the light
Using the light as my shield to guide me through
I will battle those entities that try and block me
Forcing me to see their wrath
Striking them with blow after blow
As I continue on my journey towards the light

The Darkness in the Light has faded;
A clear cut indicator that together We Made It.
Born anew in this World, the Lit Road is before us.
The Shimmer reflects on our Complexion,
As it Whites Out the Dullness of our Shadows.
I did not forget the Darkness; I am merely casting it aside
To see the Star Light Road that I wish to Ride.
A friend taught me to fight the Dark in order to see the Light,
For I can see a Brighter Future; Mentally and Emotionally Set things Right.
The Route is placed before me, It is now my Call.
Do I walk the Positive Trail, or traverse the Dark Hall?

Questions placed before me with answers already answered
I need not begin to question my path for I know where I need to be
Reveling and learning from the darkness is the only way to see the light clearly
Once you have opened your eyes to truly see, then you have arrived
Remembering and never forgetting
That the light and darkness go hand and hand
And guides us to a better understanding of self

~© 2011 Andrew Boyd~
~© 2011 D. Caprice Todmann~