Sunday, May 30, 2010

Hiatus: Chapter 26

1. How are you feeling today?

Adjective: Hard to understand; obscure

2. What did you do today?

Spoke with a good friend that has pulled me from the brink by Challenging my Thinking in a way that I never had happen before.

3. What are your Thoughts and Emotions today?


Back On Track, Bathing In The Goodness That Is My Heart And Soul.
I REFUSE To Be Plighted By Your Negativity
Due To Your Not Understanding My Cryptic Code.
I Basked In The Dark Depths Once Before And Didn’t Understand It.
But At That Point In Time, I Was Young And It Was New To Me.
When I Ventured Down That Road Again, I Rather Liked It.
Not Evil Per Se, But A Chance At Self Discovery Of This Level
And An Opportunity To See What Darkness Was All About.
Via Self Discovery, I Acknowledged That It Is Not A Frame Of Mood
But Really, A Distinct Frame Of Complex Mind.
Weaving And Intertwining Throughout My Good And Protective Nature.
Choking It, Corroding It, To The Best Of Its Ability.
Thankfully, There Is Always A Light At The End Of The Tunnel
For Me To Go Towards And Break The Vicious Vice Grip That Darkness Has On Me.
I Am Thankful For My Spirit, Which I Call My Tensaiga.
Tensaiga Is The Essential Life Restorative That Brings Me Back From The Dark
Shredding And Slicing Through It, In The Way That Only He Knows How.
Releasing The Grip In Which The Darkness Has Dug Its Nails Into
Pulling Me Free From That Place, Delivering Me From Its Mental Capacity
Only To Help Cleanse Me Through The Memories Of My Good Nature And Good Ways.
My Tensaiga Never Let Me Down, And He Helps Me Get Back On Track Yet Again.
Tensaiga, I Love You. You Always Have My Best Interest At Heart, My Dearest Friend.

Sometimes, we forget that some words that are spoken can come back to bite us in the ass.

"What u gonna do about it stay in the dark or search for the light?"

I was asked this question after discussing that I felt Dark. It scared my friend that I felt that way, and it promted this question within her that...

To tell the truth, she had me on bended knee with her Blade in my Neck.

NEVER have I had this happen to me. I literally froze and couldn't answer her question. Those of you that know me VERY WELL, know for a fact that I can answer ANYTHING that is asked of me with no problem.

Her question freaked me out to where I couldn't speak for 5 minutes.

I never asked that question of myself, honestly. I just let the Darkness run its course and I grew and learned from it, instead of fighting against it. And from that Darkness, I got Cold. I shielded myself and stayed to myself.

To be Honest, I don't like it. Yet at the same time, it was necessary to protect myself from alot of things. Darkness was my Defensive Mechanism, and it was my Safety Net.

I look and reflect on this poem, and I have to remind myself that there is ALWAYS a Light at the end of the Tunnel. In this case, it IS my Soul.

My Tensaiga.

My Good Nature hasn't failed me, and it will not fail me now or ever. Even if I detach my Emotions from alot of situations and people in my Life, my Soul corrects my thinking and behavior which causes me to get back on track.

People look up to me, Whether I like it or not. I cannot let them down. Let alone, Myself...

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