Saturday, May 15, 2010

Hiatus: Chapter 11

1. How are you feeling today?

Medical Dictionary: Characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency

2. What did you do today?

Attended my first Census Meeting at the Logan Branch Library. Just relaxed and napped for the first time in a long time.

3. What are your Thoughts and Emotions today?

First up, I KNOW!! I'M LATE!!

Anxious and Anxiousness are such Ugly words tonight. It's even uglier when it is out of the Medical Dictionary. Sadly, this is what I am feeling at this point in Hiatus.

Fear of Loss, Fear of Pain. I just feel that something is going to happen, and it isn't going to be good at all. As if events are playing out in a certain fashion to where it'll test my mettle. I know I am strong enough for it, but HOW Strong am I really? Can I handle it? Am I able to conquer this feeling? Why am I feeling Anxious? What is causing my Anxiousness to go into Overdrive?

Yet, at the same time, a good friend advised me to Embrace it, and not allow it to Consume Me. In the act of Embracing, it is not eating me up and controlling my moves; As if I am Willing the mode of thought and feeling of Anxiousness to benefit the Understanding Mechanisms deep within myself to further my understanding of Hiatus.

Thank You So Much For That. I owe you 2, now.

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