Saturday, May 29, 2010

Hiatus: Chapter 24

1. How are you feeling today?

Verb: To make known; disclose; divulge

2. What did you do today?

Had Breakfast with Dad as we watched CNN and discussed Current Events.

3. What are your Thoughts and Emotions today?

I think I either touched too much water, or this is my being revelative at this point in my Life. I'm just going to put it out there.

There's nothing here for me up North. I feel that I need a change in scenery as far as getting away from Philadelphia.


I can say this because people like myself are not appreciated here. Yeah, they call this "The City of Brotherly Love," yet this brother is being shown none.

Before anyone goes out of their way and say, "Are you going all over the city to find 'Brotherly Love'," believe when I say that I have been looking and NOT looking for it on the regular.

Also, Fuck You if you feel that I am being Whiny. People tend to forget that I listen and have listened to their problems, thoughts, views and opinions without so much as an aggravated sigh or frustration or disapproval of listening to them. I have the Right to Vent. And I am exercising this Right at this time. If you don't like it, stop reading and disown me as a friend or a family member.

I am and was often verbal as far as not being with a young lady. I asked a friend "When?," and she gave me a name. She didn't know the timeframe or the circumstance, yet in still, she is confident as to Who I will be with. I should have asked this question, but I feel that I can put this one in print.

SIMPLY Yes or No:

Did God come down and tell you that the person you named is "The One"?

I doubt that He did. IF He did, you should have been given the EXACT timeframe and circumstance as to what would cause that to happen. Do yourself a favor and don't give me a Religious response, for I have heard each and every variation that exists. It's worthless to me and it is not Human. There is a difference between a Religious Response and a Human Response. The question you NEED to ask yourself is, do you know the difference?

*Perplexed Look*

Yeah, "God doesn't help those who do not help themselves."

I go out, travel, work, interact and everything that NEEDS to be done to make myself visible and noticed by many.


And still, I am doing something wrong. Maybe my type is not accepted at all. I have been constantly told that I am a "Really Nice and Good Guy."

*Rolling Eyes*

If I am so nice and good, why isn't anyone claiming me for themself? That's right! I'm "Too Good and Too Nice"!

Philadephia, as far as finding someone viable here, is a piss poor failure in my eyes and the eyes of those who are Genuine, Sincere and Driven to be the way that they are. Maybe I should beat someone's daughter, be a drug addict, alcohol abuser and flat out "THUG" or "HOOLIGAN" and MAYBE I'll be a Turn On to someone that feels that they can "Fix Me" and make me the way they want me to be in their eyes, when in reality I won't and it gives that young woman an Alleged "Purpose" in the Relationship.

I'll be blunt: Being a "Fixer" is BULLSHIT. MANY young women Honestly think and believe that their purpose in a relationship is to be a "Fixer" for their Relationship and Life Situation.

God Bless You.

All I REALLY need to do at this point is just keep to myself and not feel a thing for anyone ANYWHERE; Be completely numb to those Emotions and stay to myself. Honestly, even if I move out of Philadelphia, I run the risk of having the same issue in another city and state as I would here.

At least I would be away from the Philadelphia Ingrates.

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