Friday, March 8, 2013
35 Years of Lessons
According to this Site, with My Birthday being March 8, I was born on "The Birthday of the Uncompromising Rebel".
In one of my Books "The Secret Language of Birthdays", March 8 pegs me as being born on the "Day of Nonconformity".
Well... Both Sounds Right to Me!!
No, don't start with the "No You Are Not!", "What does that make me, then?", or any type of talking that is along the lines of Age Comparisons; Allow me to have this Realization!
I accept the fact that I am not as young as I used to be:
-I have Silver coming into my beard and what little hair I have on my head
-My body is slowly wearing down (Vitamin D Supplements for aching knees, anyone?)
-If I run, they are in long strides and somewhat odd looking (to me)
-I might have Carpal Tunnel (still under MY Investigation; may have dinged it somehow)
-My lower back is stiffening, and
-My back aches between my shoulder blades.
At the End of the Day, I am still breathing and Living Life.
I have a lot to Be Happy about.
I also have a lot to be Blessed about.
And I have a lot to complain about.
Yet, I am Happy AND Blessed to BE ABLE to complain about things in Life.
I learned so much in my first 35 years of Life on this Earth:
-How the World works
-General and Self Victory
-General and Self Defeat
-Life in general
-Loss in general
Through all of those lessons, through all of the things with which I have gone through and endured, I have become a somewhat informed, somewhat rounded, and a somewhat grounded human being.
I'm not Perfect; FAR from Perfect, yet I am comfortable and happy with knowing that fact. If I was Perfect, then I would be looking for Perfection with everything I do as well as within everyone. I do admit that I demand the Best to be exuded from Myself as well as others around me; Why shouldn't I?
I'm hardest on myself first: Working Hard so that I may Work Hard, being Honest with myself to where I have made myself Sad (In said Sadness, it motivated me to do more and to do better, so that I may become an even better person than the previous day), and becoming driven to strive for more in My Life.
My philosophy is, if I am able to be hard on myself and push my limits, why can't other people?
When I asked myself this, I learned quickly that there are SOME people out there that are content in where they are at their point in their Life; they do not want people to challenge them to be a better person. Unsettling, yes, yet this is the path with which they choose and chose to walk. I have a few acquaintances (family members as well) that fit this category. Am I Mad, Angry, Pissed that they are not looking to Be Better and Do Better in order to Have Better?
No. I am Just Simply Disappointed. At the End of That Day, it is their Choice, their Decision, their Life. I Respect their Stance (I DO NOT Care for it, to Be Honest), yet I Support the Path on which they walk.
Like I said, I am Happy AND Blessed to Be Able to Complain; means that I am above ground to engage in that action!
In my 35 Years of Life (GOD I FEEL OLD SAYING IT!!), I learned to take the Good with the Bad, the Dark with the Light, the Positive with the Negative. I learned to Roll with the Punches, as well as Picking and Choosing My Battles. Granted, there are Days that I have done otherwise, yet I figured that Karma is a Crude, Cold, and Cruel Bitch when she wants to be, and I have a pretty good relationship with her. Karma takes care of those that I STRONGLY desire to correct myself, and gives her very unique twist in the art of bending someone over and reaming them up the ass.
How Cute and Very Much Appreciated!!
As I reflect on the first 35 Years of My Life, I made few (TRUE) friends, forged several acquaintanceships, pissed off a lot of people, and earned more Respect than I could have ever imagined. With my medical condition, I pressed forward to "Be Normal". Why did I do it, I have no idea. Maybe it is because I have had Years of Support from Family, Friends, and those that gave a Genuine Damn about my well being. What I did not realize was, I AM Normal; I may be a twinge Weird, Geeky, and Nerdy, but that is MY Normal. And in My Normal, I Love My Normal! Once again going back to being Perfect, I am Perfect as far as My Humanity:
I am Compassionate, I Care, I Love, I am Proud of and Truly Happy for others.
I have no time for petty jealousies, or "Hating" on others due to lacking things in My Life; it wears down the Spirit and dwindles away Production Time for things where said time could be utilized on a greater plain and scale. I am thankful for the Friends that I have made over time. I learned that not everyone is Trustworthy with Vital, Intimate, and Extremely Personal Information. I have seen several people (2012 comes to mind on One Incident) act as if they were my friend, only to turn around and show that all they wanted was "Dirt" on me so that they can strive and thrive in toxicity; weeds that were choking out my Blooming into becoming a much more accessible individual so that I may become a bit more Trusting of Others.
Sad to say, my initial intuition (with which I have had since I was about 10 or so) about being closed off and being a quasi-hermit IS a Valid Action based off of examples such as that. It is a shame because I do wish and desire to be more accessible to others. At the same time, keeping to myself has proven to be an effective tool for me in the realm of knowing who I can TRULY Trust.
I have been told by a few friends who are a touch older than I that hitting 35 is huge. I will learn things about myself when I look back, and come to Realizations and Epiphanies. So far, I have a few:
-I am Tired of Childishness (Been Here since age 12; this is being revisited briefly, and I was and still am right).
-I am Tired of Drama (Saw this, Experienced this, and Resolved several situations firsthand; No Thanks: No. Thanks.).
-I should have been further along in My Life (Hell, Life Happens! Deal with it, and make certain that History DOES NOT Repeat itself; Forward Progress).
-I am going to continue to be Brutally Honest with everyone (People's feelings WILL Be Hurt in that firestorm, yet I am that way because I DO give a Rat's Ass about you and I REFUSE to Sugar Coat Shit and then call it Jelly Donuts. I may lose friends, cause friction and distance with some of My Family Members, yet some people fear Truth and Blunt Honesty; I Expect Truth and Blunt Honesty from You All, and it would be Greatly Appreciated that You All return the Favor).
-You are either With Me, or Against Me: Anything that I am doing, albeit Right, Wrong, or Otherwise, it is MY CHOICE and MY DECISION to make. If I Screw Up, I MYSELF MUST Deal with said Screw Up and Try to Make it Right. All I ask for is Your Support; Small, Plain, and Simple (Thanks to a friend of mine who reminded me of THIS One Key Component).
-I will Live each Day to the Fullest, and Make MY Happiness PRIORITY NUMBER ONE. People are not going to be happy with that due to the Lack of Happiness in their Life, yet how is That MY Problem? They made THEIR CHOICES; I Didn't make Their Choices. Live , LEARN, Move On!
I know that I will make more Epiphanies and discover more about myself as I continue to move forward.
I am Truly Excited!! This weekend, I plan to be out of Philadelphia and having a Great Time. I look forward to having a couple of drinks, eating great food, and enjoying amazing friends. Nothing Extravagant, nothing Over the Top: Just... Simple. I will try to have pics of my weekend, and share with you all.
I like Simple; easier to handle, easier to keep.
35 Years Old...
It reminds me of something that my Dad said about African American Males from 18 to 25:
"Andrew, African American Men are considered 'an Endangered Species' from ages 18 through 25. African American Men either wind up Dead, or in Jail within those ages. To see you standing here at the age of 30 (at the time we had this conversation, I was 30 years old), I am happy to see you with a little bit of Education, Drug Free, able to treat people decently, and with No Baby Mamma Drama. You are a Great Catch, too! Someone WILL See that in you, and will Love you because you don't have any negatives about you that are weighing you down or holding you back. I am Proud to have watched you grow up, and to be a part of your upbringing, and to see you be a halfway decent young man."
Out of the Mouths of Dads, right?
I JUST Published My VERY FIRST Poetry Book "WORDPLAY: Poetry for The Soul" on February 27, 2013, and is Available Now on Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble, and CreateSpace. Please Click the Highlighted names in the previous sentence to see the Book on the aforementioned sites.
I also had my VERY FIRST Interview as a Published Author with "Novel Ideas" by NIck Wale!!
I'll admit it: I AM Scared about how my Poetry Book will be received, and how well it will do on the market. However, I am confident in my abilities and in my art, and I know in My Heart that my book WILL Be Successful; Breathe Positivity into what you do, and it Will Come True!
Reflecting on all that has happened to, with, for, and against me, I would NEVER trade any of those experiences in for anything. The Life that I have lived could have been more Productive, yet I am here to do more so that I may move forward and become more than just Andrew Boyd.
~© 2013 Andrew Boyd~