Sunday, December 26, 2010

5 Secrets To Making Him Love You, By Jerusha Stewart

Before I went to bed last night, I checked my email, just to make sure that I didn't miss any bonuses from the games that I play on FaceBook. After I did that, I looked at the Yahoo Main Page, and there was an article was the Center Piece at the time. So I clicked the link, and it took me to Yahoo's Relationships Section; " on Yahoo." So I read the article, and slept on what I Wanted to Say AND Needed to Say.

So when I woke up and took my 100 Degree Shower this morning, I was writing the blog while the water was tapping on my head (Liquid Lyricals).

So, what I am going to do, is Copy the Blog/Article, and I'll give my response at the end.

5 Secrets To Making Him Love You

By Jerusha Stewart

Know a woman who always seems to be in perfect sync with the guy she is dating — they laugh at each other’s jokes, are considerate of one another’s feelings, and are devotedly in love (and best friends to boot)? Well, the reason this gal’s so lucky in love is pretty simple: It’s because she treats her guy right, and he can’t get enough of her company. Now, when I say she “treats her guy right,” what do I mean? She treats him like a friend, giving him the same five-star support, understanding, and (yes) slack we automatically extend to our girlfriends. If you want to reap the same benefits in your own love life, try some of these tips, and, trust me, you’ll notice a difference.

1. Share an activity
For women, it’s second nature to invite their girlfriends along for a shopping spree, yoga class, spa day, you name it. But activity-based bonding shouldn’t be relegated to females only. Guys love jawing over a shared pursuit, and while he might not be up for a mani/pedi (nor you for a day spent watching basketball), there are plenty of other options. Becoming gym buddies is a no-brainer (and can serve as that extra kick-in-the-butt you need to go more often!), or if you two usually dine out on a Saturday night, consider delving into a cook book and taking a crack at a recipe that’s a bit of a challenge, like duck terrine with glazed shallots. Whether it turns out terrific or so odd that you end up ordering takeout, the fact that you’ve worked toward a common goal together builds team spirit. And by investing in a history of shared experiences with your partner in crime, you’ll increase the things you have in common and experience a deeper bond.

2. Cheer him on
Women take great pains to make their girlfriends feel great about themselves, showering them with ego-boosters like, “You look amazing; that is the best color on you” or “Of course, you should email that guy — he’d be lucky to have you!” And while we might think the world of the men we date and even brag about them to our friends and family members, telling him these things doesn’t always occur to us. Maybe it’s because we assume guys possess impenetrable egos — but the truth is, they can be just as insecure as your female friends and would probably appreciate a compliment now and then. So, if he just got a promotion at work, toast him at dinner and tell him exactly why he deserved it. Or try a simple off-the-cuff statement, such as: “You look so good in that shirt — it really brings out the color in your eyes.” Don’t be surprised if he suddenly seems to be around a whole lot more often, basking in your presence.

3. Let him be himself
Most women find it hard to love guys just the way they are. We want to change their hair, their clothes, their job, and sometimes even their friends to fit our ideal. With our own pals, we’re more accepting of their differences; we can actually be proud to have a technology nerd, yoga snob or fashion slave as part of our collection of confidantes. Ruthanna Hall, a sales associate in New York, has learned to relax and appreciate distinctly male behaviors (with great results) in her own relationship. “When we go out, I might feel more like a cool lounge uptown, but then all he’ll want is a round of darts at the neighborhood dive,” she explains. Rather than sulk all evening about his lack of class, she’ll focus in on the funny conversation they’re having. “Sure, most guys do things that cause girls to go ‘uggghhh!’ But that’s just the way they are,” she says. “Why not get on with it and have fun?”

4. Tell him what you think
We don’t expect our best friends to always know what we’re thinking. In fact, we actually enjoy swapping our thoughts, hopes, and fears — that’s most of the fun! But why, then, are we so disappointed when our boyfriends don’t exhibit mind-reading tendencies 24/7? We’ve all been guilty of harboring romantic notions like, “If he’s been listening to me, he’ll know exactly where to take me for dinner on Valentine’s Day” or “If he were truly paying attention right now, he’d know I’m freaking out about this virus on my computer and offer to come over and help.” But trust me, you’ll save yourself a lot of disappointment by just telling him where you want to dine out on Valentine’s Day, or by asking him to come over with his anti-virus software. After all, it’s common knowledge that two heads are better than one, so just because you’ve decided he’s The One, don’t go mum and add major guesswork to your communications.

5. Give him his space
Sometimes, girlfriends just go MIA for awhile. They get so busy at work that they don’t return your emails. Do we give them flack for it? Nothing serious. But for some reason, the rules change for guys: We rail on them for not promptly returning phone calls, take offense if they want a guy’s night out. But remember, achieving a balance between “me” time and “we” time will make the time you do spend together even better. Bridget Cunningham found her relationship got so much mellower once she stopped stressing about where her boyfriend was every hour. “I don’t hold it against him when he wants to have his own time,” she says. “You don’t cut your friends off when they do things with other people, so why shouldn’t it be the same with the person you love? Meanwhile I’m free to go running off with my girlfriend and blab about girl stuff. We meet afterwards for coffee, and we’re both feeling refreshed and fulfilled by spending time apart…and that much happier to be spending time together again.”

Jerusha Stewart, a.k.a. The Last Single Girl in the World, reveals how to be singularly sensational in her book, The Single Girl’s Manifesta.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine,


What I'm going to do as I do this, is go through each point, and give my opinion on it. TRUST ME: Hearing it from a Man WILL Drive this Home for a Good Number of You All.

Point #1: "Share An Activity"

This here, is the ABSOLUTE BEST thing that ANY Young Woman could do for a Guy. The last I checked, if a Relationship is one sided, it is GUARANTEED to Fail, unless one party is comfortable being a Door Mat and Submissive (That shit DOES NOT Fly with me. I have the NEED to Butt Heads in a Relationship!). Do something that HE WANTS TO DO. Believe me, it's like Green Eggs and Ham; Try It, you might like, or dare I say, Love It. He'll even look at you in a Light unlike no other; seeing that you took an interest in an activity that he wants to partake, has "I Love You" written ALL OVER IT!

*On a Personal Note: I play "Yu-Gi-Oh!". There were only 2 people in my Life that actually learned the game, JUST to be closer to me. They both got a Passing Grade in "Andrew Economics" for doing that one "Small Thing" to them, that turned into the Biggest Deal for me. And I am Eternally Thankful for their doing so.*

Point #2: "Cheer Him On"

I LOVE Ms. Stewart for Telling this one!! Simply put: We Men DO have Egoes. But if we do not have it refilled from time to time like a Gas Tank in a Hummer, we do get emotionally depleted, lose ourselves, and we wind up doing DUMB SHIT.

Translation: Build Him Up, NOT Tear Him Down.

If I need to paint the picture for you some more, call my Cell Phone 267.972.7530

Point #3: "Let Him Be Himself"

Question: WHY are you trying to change us into what you WANT us to be? Even Better Question: Why turn us into something that we are not? And when you do, you only wind up discarding us because we are NOT the same person that you were attracted to initially!

This is where A LOT OF WOMEN get it FUCKED UP!!!

We are, WHO WE ARE! My Dad and I have this talk at least 3 times a week: When a person reaches 25, they are considered the "Finished Product"; What you see, is what you get UNLESS a Major Traumatic Event occurs, and creates a change in personality and persona. I consider Point #3 an Issue that you CAN work with, provided that you are WILLING to work with it (Scary Concept, huh? :-/ ).

Simply put: If you don't like how your guy reads the Newspaper while being upside down and dangling in the hallway and drinking tea while saying each and every word aloud, look at it from his Point of View. It may very well be calming and soothing for him. It is the little quirks in a relationship that keeps it going!


Point #4: "Tell Him What You Think"

I have been waiting for this point THE WHOLE WRITE!!!

This one holds so much Sentimental Value because I have been telling this to EVERY WOMAN I KNOW. And I said it in the simplest form:

"Asking us to Read Your Mind is like us Asking You to Fly. It IS Impossible!!"

Look, Ladies: For us Men, Nothing, AND DREW MEANS NOTHING!! is More Sexier than a woman that can tell us ANYTHING. I have a few female friends that tell me things that I do not care to hear, but I LOVE THEM for saying it. It is the Simple Fact that they are Comfortable in themselves and their being that they can open their mouths and say what needs to be said to keep the day and conversation going, AS WELL AS get their point across. It also Eliminates A LOT of Guess Work for us Guys. I'm going to go there and say that a few female friends of mine tell me that they are eating AND they talk while in between bites!

I LOVE THAT!!! Smacking and All!

What may be unrefined to many, is a Turn On for me!

Listen well, ladies. For me PERSONALLY, Point #4 is what I love to call "The Direct Approach" Technique.

Layman's Terms: TELL ME!!!

The SEXIEST THING a Young Lady can do for me is answer one 6-worded Question:

"What do you think of me?"

EASIEST QUESTION IN THE WORLD!! Sadly, the Easiest question in the World, tends to become the most complicated because people don't care to answer it for whatever reason they have (Expectation of us to know what is on your Mind is the Header).

"Game Playing" is reserved for those that are ready to play with a PlayStation, XBOX, PSP, Nintendo DSi, Nintendo Wii, FaceBook Games, etc. If you want to try to game me and say, "You know how I feel about you," I am OUT!!! I don't have time for that shit.

Really Real, Ladies? You WILL lose the Guy that you have had your eye on Faster than he started showing interest you if you cannot (REFUSE, is more like it) answer that EASY QUESTION.

"What Do You Think Of Me?" IS Answerable. Just ANSWER IT!! You'll be surprised, even if it is an answer that will hurt us, we WILL Respect You.

Honestly, I Respect women that are 100% with me; For your Mental Well-Being, Don't toy, let alone, mess over a Guy that is worth the time and effort to get to know, which could translate into being by YOUR SIDE for a Very Long Time.

Point #5: "Give Him His Space"

Once again, I LOVE Ms. Stewart for saying this!!

Ladies, We LOVE being around you, and NOT Just for the Sex. We love your scent, your eyes, your hair, the way you snort when you laugh, the tapping you do with you nails on our arm, ALL OF THAT!! There are some times and days that we want to be left alone, especially us Black Men.

It is called "Black Man Thinking Time" for a reason; it is a Requirement, MANDATED even, that we get this important time so we can Decompress and Evaluate. If my GF or Wife that can do that for me, I will clip her nails, file them down, clean the dirt from under them AND Paint them for a month!! I just ask that you PLEASE, Leave Me Alone with my thoughts and let me do something by myself. Nothing More, Nothing Less.

And when I say that, it doesn't mean that I am Cheating or doing something that I am not supposed to be doing. I just need some space, so I can Gather my Mind and enjoy you that much more when I do see you again.

And the Old Adage that has been preached for years, DOES Apply here: "Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder." Try It and TRUST ME.

I enjoyed this Blog/Article, and this young lady knew what she was talking about. It doesn't hurt to learn something about us Men, and this young lady figured out (or was told) a few parts to the Man Code that we ARE Willing to Share. Heed her Words and mine, and your Relationship with your Significant Other WILL Flourish!


Tanya said...

I read this article as well last night. When I saw you wrote about it, you know I just HAD to read your analysis of it. Of course, I love to read anything you write. You could write your own articles like these and get published. Get to it!

ABoyd378 said...


Thank You, Tanya. I think I'll stick to stories and poems for now.

Baby Steps, right? :-)