Are You Socially Secure, Or Are You Having Social Insecurities? (Blog Challenge by Angela White, Chante Ramsey and Caprice Todmann)

Dictionary.com defines the word Security as:

Freedom from danger, risk, etc.; Safety.


I believe we all have asked ourselves this question at least once every two weeks:

“How SECURE are we, really?”

Security is what keeps our minds at ease. It is the Fabric Softener in our Life’s Laundry that prevents Static of all types from occurring. There are a myriad of topics in which to tackle, and I am going to do and be my Best to cover everything. Granted, I may miss a few (or a lot), but I am Secure in myself to know that I am Human; just like everyone else.

Let’s get Philosophical!


First in line: Getting Political with Social Security.


Social Security is defined (by popular belief and what we are told) as the following:

Social Security refers to the federal Old-Age, Survivors, and Disability Insurance (OASDI) program in the United States.
The original Social Security Act[1] (1935) and the current version of the Act, as amended[2] encompass several social welfare and social insurance programs. The larger and better known programs are:
• Federal Old-Age, Survivors, and Disability Insurance
• Unemployment benefits
• Temporary Assistance for Needy Families
• Health Insurance for Aged and Disabled (Medicare)
• Grants to States for Medical Assistance Programs (Medicaid)
• State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP)
• Supplemental Security Income (SSI)

A WHOLE LOT more can be read here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Security_(United_States)
http://socialsecurity.gov/history/history.html

Seeing how I have been a part of this process since the age of 8 (citing that my Illness is recognized as a Disability by our Government), this is a HUGE part of how those who are limited in their capabilities are able to sustain a somewhat reasonably decent lifestyle.
Yet, there are those who find a way to totally bypass the “Red Tape” and use this benefit to their Advantage as well as for their Misdeeds.

Social Security (Often times referred to as “Welfare” and/or “Public Assistance”) was put into place for the above to protect those individuals for a good number of items, namely assistance for the Elderly and the Chronically Ill. My problem comes in where the Security of this item is being violated by those who want to take advantage of this Benefit. Section 8, Social Security and Public Assistance (I would guess) were put in place to secure the lives and livelihood of those that have been affected in such a way where these particular “Fail Safes” can and will come into play to make life a bit more comfortable for those individuals. To see those that have used and abused this benefit, only gives me a bad chill going up and down my spine because there are many that NEED this benefit in order to cover their bills, medicine, etc. so they can avoid Debt and the Debt Collectors (As well as the occasional 6’10” angry man named “Bones” showing up at the door ready to break a few) as best as possible, but are unable to receive it because of those other individuals sucking the Life out of it.

Bottom Line (and I am playing a Broken Record but hey, I tend to repeat. Sue Me), Social Security is for the ones that are physically and/or mentally unable to perform daily tasks due to old age and/or LEGITIMATE Physical and Mental Handicaps. For someone to take advantage of this benefit because they refuse to Be Better by Doing Better in order to Have Better is just plain L-A-Z-Y (not to mention 2 more words: Welfare Fraud).

So, the Security in Social Security is not all that secure, is it?


How about Homeland Security, Also Known As National Security? How Secure is that? That would be Military, Intelligence, and all things relatable in regards to our Government and how they watch over us all and protecting us from all threats; Foreign and Domestic.

“Big Brother,” as they are affectionately called (Rolling my eyes), is ALWAYS watching us; From keystrokes on our computer to what we watch on Television, even down to the type of Tampons, Pads and Condoms that we all use. Hell, after going to the store for a 10lb bag of Sugar, the Government more than likely knows that I like to use Domino Sugar for my Coffee, Tea and Cereal (Folgers, Lipton, and Unfrosted Shredded Wheat).

I Honestly feel that “Big Brother,” who will more than likely read this when I post it on my Blog Page, is more about Mental Control over the Populace in order to Keep Order. If that is the case, who WAS watching the Gate when the Terrorists attacked and who in the Hell left it open?! How’s that for National Security, Hmmm??


This will tie as well as coincide into my Next Point: The Security of our Privacy.

This, OF ALL THINGS, we should have an Abundance of. The reality of it is, No we do not. Think about it; Hackers, Dishonest Employers and Employees, FAMILY MEMBERS. I could pick these apart individually, yet that would mean more reading for you all. So I’ll keep it simple.

Our information, as we all know, is NEVER really safe. Our Social Security Number, Date of Birth, Home Address, Phone Number(s), is “Private Knowledge” that is needed to open up accounts, apply for loans, jobs, websites, etc., as well as our Parcels which are at risk also. People with the ingenuity and know-how who are very capable of tapping into mainframes and/or able to dig deeply into paperwork can not only take this information for themselves, they can also make this information Public. Why do you think we are always looking over our shoulders? With Technology up and running smoothly nowadays (only to run smoother later down the line), it is as simple as taking a picture on a camera phone; Taking snapshots of your Credit Card(s) and State ID (Saw this on the news a few years ago) and your Identity is stolen while your credit score is taking a dive.

This Security is compromised because of sneaky and cynical people that have nothing better to do than to ride the coattails of those that work hard to keep their information safe as well as secret and their Money where it belongs.

This can also be applied to Home Security.

Let me ask you something: Do you long to undress after you close the door to your home, DIRECTLY at the front door with no worry of anyone walking by seeing you in all of your glory, or looking through a window? How about not worrying about someone who is not welcome in your home, being in your home?

~Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home~

We know this line from the famous song, “Home, Sweet Home,” which has been sung for over 150 Years. Lyricized by John Howard Payne, this famous line embodies what we feel about our Home when we are away from it. It’s one of those feel good songs that you sing when you are on the Road, Hospitalized or just plain away from home.

*Puzzled Look*

Yet, seeing how the World is nowadays, can we REALLY sing these lyrics? I say it is possible, but are we willing to make the moves to where these lines are singable? There are Burgulars, Peeping Toms and anything else we can think of that would violate the idea of what “Home” is.

Look: I can honestly say that WE ALL are trying to be naked in our own place, and we want to walk around where we don’t need to worry about some pervert looking at us outside our window(s) thinking God knows what about us. We could close the blinds, drapes, etc., but it still doesn’t erase the idea that SOMEONE is possibly looking at me or yourself for that matter in the way in which they are looking at you. This can also be applied to Family Security. As far as Family Security, there are too many dangers to list, but even we have to ask ourselves if their Security is at its maximum with all that is going on outside our own Front Door (Nevermind OUTSIDE the city!). Let’s also include those intimate moments with family and friends with prying eyes LITERALLY on the outside looking in.

Home Security? Compromised, but based on how Air Tight you make your home in regards to regulation of your own privacy. Even in the regulation of your home, you shouldn’t have to because you SHOULD feel Secure in it. I don’t know…


Let’s examine Sexual and Relationship Security.

I have a feeling a few people were waiting on this one. I will go in, and see where it’ll take us…

Once upon a time, there was a Special Lesson that we were all taught at one point in our Lives. It is the SINGLE MOST important Lesson that we all were taught. Very few STILL maintain the lesson that was instilled within us.

That lesson is “A Person’s Word is their Bond,” better known by its Common Name, “Face Value.”

Our Word was all we had when we did things and participated in activities that required this. It was the one thing that we were taught and was instilled within us to have and Respect within ourselves, as well as each other. To take something at Face Value is to say, “I Believe you and I Trust what you are saying.” Now that we are in the Time Frame in which we are in, “Face Value” is virtually NONEXISTENT. Nowadays, it is the manipulative mentality that seems to work in Relationships. And in those manipulations, there is no “My Word is My Bond”; it is all about “Game Playing” and the mass hurting of feelings which more than likely damaged or even obliterated that receiving party’s Emotional and Mental Stability. This also affected their Self Security on this topic. This in turn, causes SOME PEOPLE to turn around and do the same damage to others with which was done unto them by that/those person(s) who were the originators of harming the person’s Self (Mental, Emotional and Physical) Security initially.

Simply put: To harm an Innocent Party’s Security because yours was damaged by someone that you initially “entrusted” your Security with, you are NOT Justified in damaging the Innocent Party’s Security. No amount of Justification can smooth, gloss or glaze over the fact that those people that did it to you were trifling and you are carrying THEIR TORCH(ES) by being trifling yourself by way of mimicking their behavior on those that did not have anything to do with what happened to you in your past.

Then there are those that manipulated themselves into a relationship so well, that they keep milking their manipulative skills and taking it one step further after another. The end result eventually transforms itself into the form of being Unfaithful (Majority of the time). And you all know what I mean by that.

It’s not only the Mental and Emotional Security that is at risk, it is also the Physical Security that is on the line.

When people asked their partner with whom they chose to walk Life’s Path, “Are You happy where we are? Do you Love Me? Are you being Faithful?” The recipient of the Question SHOULD be and IS able to give the Questioner the decency and Courtesy of giving their Word and assure them of their Virtuosity in the Relationship (and STAND BY IT in every sense of its meanings). In MOST cases, they should have enough respect for the person with whom is questioning, to be Honesty with them to say “No” so that way, they can make the necessary changes and alterations in order to preserve as well as secure their Life.

Sadly, I know a few people that have been deceived by another’s manipulation (regardless of their relationship status) and have things in their life that CANNOT be erased and/or removed, and are living with something that they did not bargain for and are forced to grow up faster and live even harder, despite their wanting to Quit or Submit, based on their Life Situation(s) (I don’t need to spell it out; The company in which I keep {Which is You All} is a VERY Bright Bunch and knows what I am saying. If not, my phone number is 267.972.7530 and I’ll Spell it out for you then, alright?).

In reference and regards to a Potentially Long Term Relationship and Sexual Relationship’s Security? Compromised, due to a lack of a Person’s Word and their Face Value being Worthless because their Value is tainted because of what they experienced as well as witnessed during their upbringing as well as their lack of Maturity and Maturation. Then passing that “Virus” on to others and infecting the population because they believed somewhere in their mind that “Returning the Favor” on the Innocent is the Best Course of Action at that point in time (My Opinion and Educated Guess, of course).


So, it seems to me that Security COULD be garbage based on the Observations that I and others made as well as experiences in which I was a part of as well as others. To ask the Question “How SECURE are we, really?,” it makes one raise their eyebrow and rethink their position and stance as far as this topic. I know I am walking around with my wallet closer to my body, mindful of what I write (Well, not really. First Amendment is Still Secure. I checked), and read people a lot better than before.

Hopefully, I didn’t scare you with all of what I said and felt while you are double checking the Locks on the doors and windows while drawing the blinds and drapes to a close…



On a Personal Note:

I Honestly had a lot of fun doing this one; These ladies pushed my limits as a Blogger. Doing a good amount of homework, stretching my mind and looking at things with my head cocked to the side is Always Fun for me. And for that my Dear Ladies, I Sincerely Thank You.

~© 2010 Andrew Boyd~

New York, New York...

I can see how their merchandising gets the Respect that it earned as well as deserves.
I can see it in the way that this city is Aggressive and a Go-Getter.
I Love New York.
I SINCERELY do.
The Big City with an even Bigger Lifeline.
Passionate, Beautiful and Vibrant at every turn.
A Power House that shouldn't be upsetted by anything.
An Excellent and Exalted Metropolis that I take Personal Pleasure in seeing, experiencing and visiting often.
I left my heart in San Francisco? HELL NO!! It's in New York!!



And I have my dear girl friends to prove it!! Such a Lively and Energetic group of Ladies with whom I Love to my very Core because they personify what Women and Ladies are.

YET, MY FELLOW AND DEDICATED READERS...

I saw some Bullshit Fuckery that PISSED ME OFF TO NO END!!! And oddly enough, it seems that a few of my girl friends informed me that this behavior is the norm in their great city. And I'll start with a question:

"What the FUCK is with you Men of New York?!"

I'm talking about the Non-Chivalrous, can't hold the door, REFUSING to get up for a young lady to sit down on a crowded train or bus ASSHOLES!! These individuals are lucky that I didn't pack any gloves (INSIDER) and proceeded to Pimp Slap the teeth out of their mouths!

You know something, Ladies and Gentlemen? I stand for non violence like Dr. King. But DAMMIT, I was about to step out of character this weekend, and it was right after I got off the Greyhound Bus when I entered the Port Authority!!!

I Saw these Alleged "Men" not engage in the following:

-Holding the door for the ladies so they can walk through
-Standing up for the ladies to sit down from a hard day's work, which they would have appreciated and been reminded that there are DECENT Men in the city, if not the World
-Stimulating conversation that would have broaden their horizons as far as getting to know a young lady better (KEY ITEM FOR THE SINGLE GUYS)
-Excuse themselves for bumping into a young lady as they were going to their destination (Esp. when she is holding a child's hand or holding bags, whick irks the FUCK out of me).

I can provide examples as far as how a MAN should act.

When I went to NY in March and met with Joy and Kali, I made it a point to hold doors, have them sit before I sat, sat on the outermost seat (Where if a server were to spill something, it would hit me and not them), walked on the curbside (in case a driver was feeling overzealous that day), had them get into the cab before I did (despite their insisting that I sit in the middle of the cab), and most of all, BE COURTEOUS AND RESPECTFUL OF THEIR PRESENCE.

This past weekend, I held the door for Caprice, went to the Shrine and stood up as the ladies went to sit down, THEN I sat down. When N'Tirzah was at the table in which we were occupying, I got up, and escorted N'Tirzah to my seat and I stood up for the majority of the evening (Even if I was taking 400+ pics, it was still the point that I was Man Enough to stand my narrow ass up, just so a young lady could sit down and rest).

I am not looking for Brownie Points, plain and simple. I am Old School, Old Fashioned, was and still am being Raised Right. The way that I acted, is a Prime Example as to how Men all over SHOULD be acting. I saw Caprice's point when we spoke on this:

Me: "I can see why the women here do not Respect the Men here."
Caprice: "Yeah. They are going out of the city to find a Man."
Me: "Hi! I'm Andrew. Nice to meet you! How are you?"

LOL!!!


"Men" (And I use that word LOOSELY) of New York:

Step your game up, and reclaim your Masculinity and the Role in which was bestowed upon you when you were born and being raised. Don't make up the pathetic excuses of "My Father wasn't there! I had no Role Models! I don't know any better!"

Read My Lips: FUCK YOU.

You had positive Role Models; You chose that your way was the Right Way, and that is why you are fucked up now and cannot find and sustain a healthy relationship with a GOOD WOMAN.

And YES!! I CAN SAY THAT SHIT!!! I know what a Man looks like in Public as well as in Private and I know FOR A FACT how they act, because...

I was raised by one, and taught by many.

How Strong (Mentally, Emotionally) Are You, The People, Really?

I lived alot of Life, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Yeah, I sound like an old guy, yet I am not getting any younger.

Seeing all that alot of friends, family as well as myself have been through (Mentally, Finacially, Physically, Emotionally), I cannot help but question the mettle of those looking in from the outside. The Support from those that we all encounter is nothing short of fantastic and something to marvel. But it makes me question a few items:

"Can those looking in from the outside TRULY Hang in the face of this type of adversity?"

"If it was you, how soon would you give up on yourself, knowing full well that this would be your Life from that day forward?"

"If you would and could turn to someone, would they welcome and embrace you with open arms and let you know that you will survive and be just fine? Or would they turn their back on you, only to leave you buried in your woes and citing that they were never your Ally in your struggle initially?"


Let's look at Question 1: "Can those looking in from the outside TRULY Hang in the face of this type of adversity?"

I ran into so few of these types, that it made me smile. This is the question that a few friends of mine answered very honestly:

"No, I couldn't hang and do what you do."

I have so much Respect for those that can answer this one in this fashion. It tells me that they are THAT Honest within themselves that they can answer this question truthfully and know their limitations. I truly Love those that can say this and not be embarrassed to say it, instead of putting on a mask and portaying themselves as a fraud.

Question 2: "If it was you, how soon would you give up on yourself, knowing full well that this would be your Life from that day forward?"

Now with this question, I heard people say that they wouldn't give up on themselves. To tell the Truth, I think otherwise.

Not everyone is built in the fashion to take on a Traumatic occurence in their Life to where they would be that strong within themselves to sustain their sanity. HONESTLY, there aren't too many people that are mentally equipped and adept to handle occurences of this nature.

I would be a cynical liar if I said that I do not seek a bit of pleasure in seeing those people who think that they are "All That" to take on a heavy load such as those that are taking in a heavy load on the regular, only to watch in awe for them to fall flat on their face. Realistically, they wouldn't be able to know how to take that First and Critical Step in which to learn how to handle as well as deal with those that are struggling in their own way.

Would you trade places with those people that are carrying a heavier load than you? No, you would not. And for the very simple reason that you refuse and cannot accept the fact that you are, in truth, Weaker than what you claim. My suggestion for those that are this way is simple: Grow a set, be upfront and honest within yourself and stop lying to others. More importantly, stop lying to yourself about how allegedly "Strong" you are. Leave the True Strength to the Professionals, like myself.

Question 3 is obviously a Two-Parter: "If you would and could turn to someone, would they welcome and embrace you with open arms and let you know that you will survive and be just fine? Or would they turn their back on you, only to leave you buried in your woes and citing that they were never your Ally in your struggle initially?"

Part One, I have benefitted so much from that, it calms me and fuels my desire to be even stronger than before. I can name names as far as those that have walked with me and have walked by my side through the Hell that WE (And I can damn sure say We) been through. I know from the first part that I am living not only for myself, but living for those that are with me; Giving them Strength, Motivation and Desire to be better and stronger than before. Their Strength is reciprocated through me, causing their strength to flourish in tendfold.

Part Two, is a little trickier to answer, but hey. This is Andrew we are talking about.

Those that hear what is going on with you as they smile and nod like the idiots that they are, are already planning their "Exit Strategy" to not be the Support System that is Critical to your mentality that is already fragile due to the situation(s) in which you are going through.

This is the "Classic" mark of a self absorbed individual that could care less about what is going on in your Life UNTIL it happens to them. Then they are looking for your Sympathy which we, as those that have been or are STILL in that situation(s), are going to show towards them during their time in need.

Why do we do that? Because we, as those who struggled with the sitation(s), are Compassionate towards those who are experiencing that same hardship. Those that are going through items in their Life are Naturally Compassionate for others, because we know that Life is hard, and we deal as best as possible all the while we uplift those that are struggling.

At the same time, those that are turning their back on those individuals, they are in fact giving us that much more motivation to push even harder than before, just to show OURSELVES (Not them) that we can Hang in there and ride things out and get through the Struggle. So in reality, their Weakness is truly our Strength.


All in all, How Strong are you all Really? I know my Strength. I know the strength that my closest friends possess. If you are truly that strong for your friends and family, then you have strength enough within yourself to show your support for them during their time in need.

To the Weaklings and the Self Absorbed: Grow a set and Step Up for your Friends and Family. They will Thank You for it some day. And Hell, you'll discover some things about yourself along the way.

A Stranger's Danger; The Name's Andrew

You know what, people?

I Love Me.

I Love the person that I am, how I was raised, how I turned out as an adult(despite some areas where I should have exercised a little more sense, but I learned my lessons and put those lessons to great use in order to better myself in the future). I have Love for those that are upfront, straight up and Honest about who they are. Even those that are arrogant and exude an aura to where their shit smell like the greatest fragrance on the Planet where we should dab a bit behind our ears, I Love them as well.

My question to you is (and I am guilty of doing this myself), How KNOWLEDGEABLE of another person are you where you can call them on their stuff?




It's no secret that I am an Emotional person (Bite me hard if you don't like it or find me weak for being that. I call it HUMAN) and I wear my Heart on my sleeve often. I am taming that part of me, and it is a work in progress. It is said Emotion that fuels my Passion for Debate. Without my Emotion in Debates, they are simply Empty Words. Now, here's the meat of the scenario...

I am Objectional, just as much as I am Supportive when it comes to you, The People. Those that do not know me like that, whenever I comment on an item anywhere, they attempt to test my Logic and Thinking on the topic at hand.

Perfect Example. When I wrote my Self Proclaimed Blog of the Year "Misogyny, Misogynism And Misogynists: Women’s ULTIMATE Nightmare," I wrote about an individual named James H., who spoke on how "Danger Makes Women's Panties Wet." Those that read the Misogyny blog read how I called him on his thoughts pertaining to the subject matter. He responeded, and I silenced him with 3 words:

"Correction. Captain Considerate."

Like I stated before, I am a Debater by Nature. And I find it funny how people who do not have a clue as to who I am DARE to try me on something that I say and said. Only those that interact with me on the regular are capable of taking me out intellectually. Trust and Believe when I say that whoever is reading this, has the Skill to shut me up on alot of topics (Tough, but Doable).

Personally, it is entertaining how these "Rookies" think that they know everything, when in reality WE ALL have not begun to scratch the surface of the knowledge that was instilled within us by previous Generations. I feel that the old addage remains VERY TRUE, and I'll end this blog on said Addage:

"God gave us two eyes, two ears and one mouth for a reason. To Observe and Listen twice as much as we Speak."

Hiatus: Chapter 28

1. How are you feeling today?

Satiated
Verb: To have satisfied to the full; sated


2. What did you do today?

Had dinner with the Family, and cracked up at "Family Guy," and watched a bit of Sports and 60 Minutes. The people called it in early.

3. What are your Thoughts and Emotions today?


My Stomach is about to bust...

Ribs, Potato Salad, Greens, Steak Roast and a Lamb Roast wrapped in Bacon.

Need I say more?

I have to curb my eating a little bit. I'm not as young as I used to be. I still have a Decent Metabolism, but Age and Gravity is catching up. Regardless, I'll still eat for pleasure, just as much as I do for Survival.

If you'll excuse me, I'm getting a bowl of Raisin Bran.

Hiatus: Chapter 27

1. How are you feeling today?

Speechless
Adjective: Temporarily deprived of speech by strong emotion, physical weakness, exhaustion, etc.


2. What did you do today?

Woke up early and did some early morning running around. Was shocked by the subject matter at the moment.

3. What are your Thoughts and Emotions today?


Joy and Pain-- Maze and Frankie Beverly ---Soul


Speechless...

JUST Speechless.

I, at times, know when a friend is in need. As if I am their proverbial 9-1-1. I go to them when I feel a difference in their Air Pressure or when they call on me, and I help where I can.

Then a thought that I had came to mind, as it came from the movie "S.W.A.T."...




*Looking up and Nodding in Approval*

My 9-1-1 IM'd me this morning as I was making my way to Shope Rite for Snacks for today's BBQ (I'll run the list in Chapter 28, as there will be more to discuss). A young lady whom I dismissed last year because we didn't see eye to eye on a few topics and issues contacted me today, OF ALL DAYS. When I saw the message as I was listening to my daily dose of Just Blaze's "Whatever it Takes," I froze for the second time this weekend:

"Have a Blessed Day. Hope this message finds. Hope life has smiled on you. Take care..."

My response to this IM was of shock and humbleness. She continued on:

"You have been on my mind. God put me where I was needed today. Didn't mean to disturb you but wanted to say hello."

And this part freaked me out, citing that she lives in the Midwest:

"I've been watching you from afar. In thought and vision. Don't worry about understanding. Just know I was never far away."

GOD, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY LOVE AN EMPATH!!!

And Thank God for the Empaths that I have in my Life (Joy and Dad [TECHNICALLY, he is a Gemini-Cancer Cusp, but he was born on June 21. Those that know their stuff knows that it is the longest day of the calendar year, Blessing them with a VERY POWERFUL 6th Sense]. These 3 people just KNOW Things...)

This young lady felt something was wrong with me, and she reached out to speak to me and volunteered to bring me back from the Brink. I already know that we have some hours to log in, but I am Hopeful that what Needs to be said and heard will be said and heard.

But most importantly, Understood and Acknowleged.

Hiatus: Chapter 26

1. How are you feeling today?

Dark
Adjective: Hard to understand; obscure


2. What did you do today?

Spoke with a good friend that has pulled me from the brink by Challenging my Thinking in a way that I never had happen before.


3. What are your Thoughts and Emotions today?

Tensaiga

Back On Track, Bathing In The Goodness That Is My Heart And Soul.
I REFUSE To Be Plighted By Your Negativity
Due To Your Not Understanding My Cryptic Code.
I Basked In The Dark Depths Once Before And Didn’t Understand It.
But At That Point In Time, I Was Young And It Was New To Me.
When I Ventured Down That Road Again, I Rather Liked It.
Not Evil Per Se, But A Chance At Self Discovery Of This Level
And An Opportunity To See What Darkness Was All About.
Via Self Discovery, I Acknowledged That It Is Not A Frame Of Mood
But Really, A Distinct Frame Of Complex Mind.
Weaving And Intertwining Throughout My Good And Protective Nature.
Choking It, Corroding It, To The Best Of Its Ability.
Thankfully, There Is Always A Light At The End Of The Tunnel
For Me To Go Towards And Break The Vicious Vice Grip That Darkness Has On Me.
I Am Thankful For My Spirit, Which I Call My Tensaiga.
Tensaiga Is The Essential Life Restorative That Brings Me Back From The Dark
Shredding And Slicing Through It, In The Way That Only He Knows How.
Releasing The Grip In Which The Darkness Has Dug Its Nails Into
Pulling Me Free From That Place, Delivering Me From Its Mental Capacity
Only To Help Cleanse Me Through The Memories Of My Good Nature And Good Ways.
My Tensaiga Never Let Me Down, And He Helps Me Get Back On Track Yet Again.
Tensaiga, I Love You. You Always Have My Best Interest At Heart, My Dearest Friend.


Sometimes, we forget that some words that are spoken can come back to bite us in the ass.

"What u gonna do about it stay in the dark or search for the light?"

I was asked this question after discussing that I felt Dark. It scared my friend that I felt that way, and it promted this question within her that...

To tell the truth, she had me on bended knee with her Blade in my Neck.

NEVER have I had this happen to me. I literally froze and couldn't answer her question. Those of you that know me VERY WELL, know for a fact that I can answer ANYTHING that is asked of me with no problem.

Her question freaked me out to where I couldn't speak for 5 minutes.

I never asked that question of myself, honestly. I just let the Darkness run its course and I grew and learned from it, instead of fighting against it. And from that Darkness, I got Cold. I shielded myself and stayed to myself.

To be Honest, I don't like it. Yet at the same time, it was necessary to protect myself from alot of things. Darkness was my Defensive Mechanism, and it was my Safety Net.

I look and reflect on this poem, and I have to remind myself that there is ALWAYS a Light at the end of the Tunnel. In this case, it IS my Soul.

My Tensaiga.

My Good Nature hasn't failed me, and it will not fail me now or ever. Even if I detach my Emotions from alot of situations and people in my Life, my Soul corrects my thinking and behavior which causes me to get back on track.

People look up to me, Whether I like it or not. I cannot let them down. Let alone, Myself...